-------- Original Message -------- Subject: [rapidwheelmen] SPINZILLA! Cadence Tues 10/26 Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2004 06:32:37 -0400 From: Bob H. 5 cyclists joined me Tuesday evening for the first SPINZILLA! Jeff S., another Jeff S., Tim M. (my neighbor), Mike & Tanja B. With the aid of some borrowed trainers (thank you Ruth & Karen) we eventually had everyone up and riding. Duration was a little over 90 minutes while we listened to upbeat rock music and watched the end of one of Lance's stage wins this past summer. Intensity for me was a little higher than expected, (why oh why did I set up Jeff S. next to ME?) but I survived. Jeff said his knees are doing good. Mike & Tanja were almost twenty minutes late but through the miracles of modern technology were almost immediately riding in the front group! A brief visit was even made by my wife, Amy and our friend Janna, who then snapped a few pictures. We enjoyed pumpkin pie and apple spice cake along with assorted fruits after the ride. Weather was mid-60's, no rain, wind or traffic. :-) RC Bob H. --------------------------------------------------------------------- -------- Original Message -------- Subject: [rapidwheelmen] Spinzilla Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2004 10:53:08 -0400 From: Jeff S. Group: I just knew that Bob was gonna beat me to the punch...telling his side of the story...some flowery, up- beat fabrication about a bunch of cyclists having fun while riding trainers, drinking fine wine, eating expensive imported cheese and talking about how Lance still kicks ass. Now, as Paul Harvey would say, it's time for... "the rest of the story". It sure seemed to this participant at least, that the flowers were poison ivy, the up-beat cyclists were abused prisoners, the wine was Mad Dog 20/20, and the cheese was of the "doodle" variety. Perhaps this will set "the mood" of the ride...we had to listen to a (the?) song by Vanilla Ice! I kid you not...Vanilla Ice...Yikes! I was pedaling like a mad man in an attempt to escape the noise before I started bleeding out of my ears....but to no avail...damned trainer! Thankfully, Mr Ice was only ever known for that one song (which, by the way, was not (at least according to "Vanilla"), in any way what-so-ever, a rip off of a Queen song). And the last song we had to listen to was by Madonna. Dear God in heaven! Using the words "Madonna" and "Talented" together is a bit like using the words "Dubya" and "Competent" in the same sentence... (Sorry, but I can't resist taking verbal shots at Mr Bush...it's too fun and way too easy). Let's look at the victims Bob had fun with. First there was his neighbor Tim. This poor guy practically admitted that he hadn't pedaled a bike since he shed his training wheels back during the Kennedy Administration. Did Bob care...did Bob show any mercy? Of course not. He put that poor man on a trainer, cranked the resistance to the "L'Alpe d'Huez" setting, and told him to get going. Jeff S., a really nice fellow and strong rider, was placed way in the back so he had no choice but to stare at either Bob's, Tim's or my ass for what I'm sure seemed like an eternity. Mike was ...well, what the hell can I say...as we all know by now, Mike is insane so it really didn't matter what happened to him. However, I did ask him why he was there and he said that: "since it wasn't 20 below zero with gale force winds and blizzard snows falling, why ride outside?". I did what any normal person would do when confronted with this sort of logic...I said: "ummm, yeah Mike...good point", and then sloooooowly backed away. Mike's wife Tanja was actually treated quite well. I'm not sure why, but more likely than not Bob was just trying to fool her into coming back for another session, at which time she will be treated more like the rest of us. And then there was me...poor ole..."bad knee, haven't ridden in a year or so, way outa shape but never complaining about my situation"...me. Bob placed me on a trainer that had a fan about the size of a paddle wheel boat paddle. I swear I had to pedal about 127 times before that damned thing made even one revolution! "Ok", you're wondering, "But was it at least smooth?" Smooth?...let me tell you...smooth doesn't even come close. I'm pretty sure that at some point Bob had replaced the bearings with some small pebbles and then used sand as a lubricant. And then he put something under my front wheel (he claimed to "steady" the wheel....for Christ's sake Bob, we were on trainers..where the hell was my front wheel gonna go...home?) which lifted it so high that it felt like I was climbing straight up. If I even let go of the handle bars for a quick second to wipe the sweat outa my face, I would practically fall off the back of the bike. Later (about 6 hours into our 9 hour "ride") it was like we were in a really bad episode of the Twilight Zone, cuz I'm not sure how, but when Bob's wife Amy and their friend Janna showed up, everything seemed normal again. The whips and chains were gone, my trainer look like any typical trainer, and Bob's cattle prod disappeared. It probably looked to these two very nice ladies like we were all having a great time and thoroughly enjoying ourselves. What the hell was going on? It Musta been something in the drop of water Bob let us have every 3 hours during our "break" periods. And then, at the end of this Bataan Death Ride we (we being "me") decided that since we were watching that great stage of this years "Le Tour" when Lance clipped Kloden at the line, that we would "act" out the parts. I was on Bobs right, Tim was on the other side, Tanja had crashed out, Mike was to my right and behind a little, and Jeff (no Judy, not me...there was another Jeff there...jeez...think about it...could I possibly be in two places at once?) was bringing up the rear. I called "LANCE", but Bob vetoed that decision because he noticed notice that he had placed his trainer slightly ahead of everyone else! Coincidence? I think not. Bob made me be Kloden, so I had to put in a sprint only to have Bob/Lance clip me at the line. That bastard! Ha, ya know what? As I read through my account of our first annual (does anyone else hate that phrase,..first annual...how stupid...how can the "first" be an "annual"...Man, I hate that phrase) Spinzilla fest, and compare it to Bob's...I have to admit that his is much more accurate. I, for one, had a very good time and I think I can safely say that the others did as well. Bob was a great host and the post ride goodies were a welcome sight and very tasty (make sure you thank Amy for us all, Bob). Thanks again, and I'm looking forward to my next SPINZILLA session. Later, Jeff S.